Adrenalin Junkie

My alarm goes off this morning at the same time is does every work day. I shutter my eyes due to the beaming light coming through my blinds that I forgot to close last night. I roll to the left side of my bed and almost fall out. Tripping over the heap of still sweat soaked clothes left on my floor from last nights drunken fixie ride around Stoneham.  Almost smashing my head on the door jam. That was close.

The need to piss hits me. Couldn’t make it to the lid fast enough. I almost fell back asleep while standing there. It was definitely too early for me to be awake on a Sunday. Wait! No wooosh from the throne…I forgot to flush.

Stumbling to the kitchen to brew some java I step on something. Friggin’ vavle stem cap. Those fuckers hurt when you get ’em just right.  Still cursing as I get to the coffee pot and realize my good shit is gone…guess I gotta brew the standby grounds. Ehhh caffine is what I crave not yumminess.  As it brews I zone out on the glowing digi-lite on the perk.

Within a second or 30 my stomach moans for substance. I open the drawer to my left and see some tasty cliff bars. Then realize that they alone may not be enough to satisfy this hunger.  It is time to break out the griddle and the ingredients for one hell of a pancake. We have “Aunt Jemima(sp) Just Add Water” pancake mix, a jar of some PB, some cinnamon, and of course fuck ton of butter. Well on my way to having a great ride in to work today.

I haven’t had cable for a while and I have watched the shit out of all my movies. Sooo I listened to some Slayer. Nothing like coffee and Slayer to wake you the fuck up in the morn’.  The pancakes sizzled and the coffee bubbled the boys from Slayer got me amped and ready to toss the gear on and hit the trails. I slid the grub down my throat. Par took in some extra activities and suited up.

The begining was a bit windy. Good warm up though. Got to the Fells in 5 and started my usual journey through my usual route. Exited and slammed over to Horn Pond. This is were disaster was a pedal stroke away. One of the hills I usually climb had something else planned for me. A stick, maybe it was a full tree, decided it wanted to get comfortable in my rear wheel and play with my derailleur.  Luckily I am bit wary about these issues and stopped pedaling almost immediately.The derailleur was already pulled into the spokes and the hanger was already twisted. The particular bike I was riding is extremely beefy so it takes a bit to fuck it up. I got off and pulled aside the trail. Did a pro job of bending, cursing, twisting, and hammering and got it back into somewhat pedalable condition. It got me to my destination and I was sooo happy for that. It could have been a long walk back, that is for sure.

At the end of the work day I threw Bess into the stand and checked her out. As sexy as she is she needed a bit of surgery. She is all fixed up now and ready to shred again. Hopefully my night ride home will be a bit more pleasurable. I know you can do it Bess! I am trying some new lights and a new saddle on her. My existing saddle is fucking killing me.

Here we goooo!

I hate Stella Azzurra!

I have always said that I am a “mountain biker” at heart. But, the more and more I saturate my life with bikes I realize that I am really, truly a “cyclist” at heart. A year ago if you could have hung out with me. Smoked a bit of subherban and drank a beer or 10 with me…you would have said to your self “Shit this guy hates everything that doesn’t have a knobby tire on it”. This was very true.  If it didn’t have 26″ wheels and wasn’t called a “mountain bike” I would have laughed at the thought of riding it. “Skinny wheels just lead to shaving legs and lycra” is something I would have said.

Luckily, shaving of the extremities hasn’t even entered my mind after this road filled winter. Even with copious amounts of road rash to speak of…I just don’t see the need.  With Canadian lineage I think it is proper to stay hairy. I certainly see the reasoning behind shaving my sticks. But I hate shaving my face so much I can imagine how much I would dred shaving my legs.  Just not worth it.

Sooo back to my first thought. Mountain biking! Yup it is that time of year when I have to choose wisely were I ride because of mud season. It is that time of year were snow and ice are no longer the problem. Those pesky wooden limbs that grow underground and find their way to the surface. Just enough showing to make it interesting when wet. Just annoying enough to make you curse them.

Roots, rocks and the type of dirt we have here in New England may make this the only place worthy of the term…technical. I know, I know there are other polaces in the world that is this techinically difficult. I am not that close minded people. But damn NE has it’s own flow and feeling. The terrain makes me feel at home.

If you are not a Dirt rider then I suggest you get some sort of a bike with knobbies and give it a whirl. This weekend there will be a ride for “Opening Day” at the Fells Reservation. If you are a Dirt rider then I hope to see you there on Saturday. You may have fun, you may meet some cool people, you might even discover a type of cycling that you have always said “Ehhh I will never like that… it is silly!”.

Really! It is an amazing discipling that everyone should get a taste of. It will change your life! Just like road riding and all the other disciplins involving non-motorized movement. We must believe bikes can do great things for us…because they can!

I hear this phrase a lot.  It is usually accompanied by many other words that usually go in my right ear, swirl around angerly, and shoot the fuck out of my left ear. Why? You ask. Because they mean nothing to a mechanic.  The “angrly” part is not anger pointed towards the rider… Okay……you know that you are incorrect about the “not many miles” part. You know that it has a fuck load of miles, very little maintance and oh yeah it was ridden throughout a New England winter or I should say winters, without any love.

When people (friends, customers, and coworkers) say “not many miles” I usually chuckle  inside. This means that they wished that they had gotten another 10,000 miles before they brought it to me. This way they wouldn’t be spending the paper to fix their clapped out shit now. Instead dealing with even more clapped out shit later…more excuse to by completely new… right? More reasoning to convince their spouse that it was REALLLY neeeded. When they wouldn’t have to “convince” anyone if they had loved it a bit earlier.

This is how I think of it, and many mechanics think this way as well. If you had an infected wound. It was a small wound and you thought to your self “ehhh that sucks but it’ll get better the less I take care of it.” After about a month of picking at it and showing your friends of how disgusting it is, you realize “Fuck this might be bad…my wound is oozing and I can smell it…”. You go to your favorite doctor and he/she says ” Hey Fucking asshole we now have to cut your arm off with a butter knife…might hurt a bit…but it won’t be infected any more!” This is what happens with your bike. You neglect obvious problems (even though you don’t admit it to yourself) and you end up loosing much more. Like your wallet or debit card.

My job is to help you realize these issues. My job is to tell you that your bike , with out the proper care, will loose its original extremities and will need some new bits.  7,000miles without bringing it to someone that has a non-biased opinion is neglect. Neglect on your bike and honestly negelect on your own well being.

We, as “wrench monkeys”, know more about how things look and act when they are worn and burnt out then anyone riding there “own” bike. Why? Because we see it once every so often. Your bikes integrity degrades over time slowly. So you never notice how shitty it actually rolls. We do! Listen to us and we will have your bike ridding like buttah the next time you see it. We are not BSing you, we are not getting paid commision, we are not here to make a buck. We are here to love 2 wheeled creatures and machines. Doubt us and we will doubt you as a “rider” as a person who loves the tools we use to get from A to B. Doubt us and your next ride will be shittier than the last…and don’t blame it on us. We are just the ones that you supposedly trust to work on your bikes. We get paid pennies to make your adventures more relaxed and fun. Do not make the mistake thinking that we are in it for the money.

Cheers to those who ride! Cheers to those who maintain! Cheers to those that wrench!

Tuned bikes make tuned riders.