Adrenalin Junkie

My Thoughts, Riding experiences, Industry experiences, and Life experiences that all somehow involve bikes

Pinchatron and Tubicus Battles For The Victory

The light settles on the snow. Showing the sand, salt and remnants of torn asphalt on the side of the arena. Tubicus lifts his shield and cowers for mercy. The crowd ROARS. Pinchatron stands over Tubicus with his pothole axe in one hand and a curb sword in the other. Pinchatron swings his pothole and strikes Tubicus on his sheild time and time again. Tubicus’ Kevlar shield gives way and Pinchy forces his way through.

Tubi falls to the ground. Cutting not his armor but his rubbery skin underneath. “Pinchatron must have some sort of magic in his pothole” Tubi thinks. Tubicus rolls away and stumbles to the earth. Looking down at his gasping wound realizes he has to do something. He holds on as much as he can. But all of his Oxygen is quickly rushing out. He struggles to get up and swings his casing whip with fury and lashes Pinchatron. But pinchatrons armor is to strong it is made of stone and tar. Tubicus patches him self up in the corner while Pinchatron laughs and raises his arms to the crowd. The crowd chants “Flat Him! Flat Him! Flat Him.”

It looks dismal for our friend Tubicus. A fair maiden comes out from the gates. Runs to Tubicus and injects some sealant into him. Uses a CO2 to inflate him enough to get him through. This maiden has faith in Tubicus.  The crowd Booos the maiden. She flips them the bird!

Tubicus crouches down and grabs a hand-full of snow and sand. He hides it behind his dilapidated shield and rushes Pichatron. Throws the mix in his eyes and slides under his legs, turns, and stabs him in the cobblestones. Pinchatron drops to his knees in pain. The crowd goes nuts. The maiden comes back out and lays a huge kiss on Tubicus’ cheek. He’s smitten.

Tubicus sees the opportunity to go in for the kill. Slowly creeps up behind Pinchatron and Slices his throat with a tire lever that was slipped to him by the maiden (she’s a keeper). Pinchatron falls on his face and Tubicus is dubbed the winner of the battle.

Tubicus is carried away on the crowds shoulders in celebration. Fall back to Pinchatron….still breathing. He grumbles “Tubicus…my family will finish the job I started”. Pinchatron is no more…fade to black.


One Response to “Pinchatron and Tubicus Battles For The Victory”

  1. Boston Biker Says:

    ha ha awesome…may we all find the same victory!

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